🌧️ Some Days You Win. Some Days You Surrender.

Today's Lineup:

• Tuesday I cried 8 times, and what my 9-year-old said that made me LAUGH🎬
• Why surrender isn't losing, Reader 🍵
• A free card every week to help you dance out your doubts 💃

Reader, if this week knocked you sideways too, pull up a chair. You're not alone.

Hi Reader,

Have you ever had a week where every tool that worked before suddenly... didn't?

This week humbled me. I really had to pay attention to my body and plan around it. Even with all my tools, I still go through the HUMANING process too. It's not about getting it perfect. It's about figuring things out and becoming better each time.

🌀 The Week My Body Said "Not So Fast"

The week started with lots of wins. On Saturday, October 24th, I did a 4-hour face reading event with a Halloween theme, dressed as the sin of sloth.

The next day, my body crashed. And I had colonoscopy prep to do for my 8:45 a.m. appointment on Monday.

To my surprise, the prep wasn't so bad, and I went into the colonoscopy really relaxed. What I didn't realize is that it takes about 3 days to actually heal. My body would not stop to rest, even when I wanted it to and was so exhausted.

But here's the good news. My gut came back as smooth as it has been in 6 years. Last year, it was one of the worst my gastroenterologist had ever seen. 🙌 That result gave my body a lot of peace.

😮‍💨 Then Came Tuesday

This same week, I started my 8-week AI intensive, where I'm learning to become an AI architect with Callen Faulkner. I'm really not that techy of a person. With everything I'm investing in right now, the doubt came right back. I was in OVERWHELM.

My body started shaking. My stomach hurt even worse. I cried at least 8 times.

I pulled myself together for a remote face reading, and thanks to Mercury retrograde, we couldn't even start until half an hour late. Nothing was going right, at least according to my nervous system and need for CONTROL.

I took breaks. I walked. I rested. I put on my Manta eye mask. I meditated. And at the same time, I felt all this pressure to pull up my bootstraps and just do the work. Full moon aftermath, five planets in retrograde, a body still healing. So many forces pulling on me at once.

Sometimes even the tools that worked before seem to stop working, so you push harder to fix it. But I knew I had to stay with it for it to pass. It didn't feel good.

Maybe you were feeling it too.

(Manifesting-generator brain wanted to give you the full play-by-play of Tuesday, ribbon cutting included. Editor brain said no. You're welcome.)

🎬 "Mom, Did Anyone Die?"

When I came home with Bella, I hyperventilated, crying in front of her. And she used my own tactics on me.

"Mom, did anyone die?"

I said no, and I started smiling.

"Mom, did any animals die?"

No. Big laughter for both of us.

That's exactly what I told her a few weeks ago, when she had a 9-year-old catastrophe that felt like the end of the world to her. Sometimes the universe sets you up to remember your own tools, but someone else has to hand them back to you. We both laughed.

So I surrendered. "Let's watch a movie. We'll have dinner in our room."

She went and got a tray. She put a little vase on it with flowers from our garden. Then she got out two plastic flutes so we could have a mocktail and make it more elegant.

We watched The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, because we both needed to calm down and escape this world for a bit. It was the perfect antidote. This was Bella's second time watching it. The first time was during a snowstorm, and she was actually scared watching it, but now she anticipated every moment and loved it, understanding the deeper meaning of it.

🍵 Surrender Isn't Losing

Some days you win. Some days you surrender. And surrender isn't losing.

It's pausing, so your nervous system can settle and realign, and so the creator can set things up for you.

I slept until about 4 a.m. and woke up a lot more clear. I did a tea ceremony and meditated. It guided me back to the evidence: all the times it has worked out for me before, and how this is a setup for something better. I have to trust that.

Here's what I keep learning. The more you detach from the outcome and become neutral to it, the more you regulate your nervous system. And the more you regulate, the more you see the solutions, the path the creator really wants for you. But you have to become the vessel for it. (This is what I'm learning from the Kabbalah with David Ghiyam)

I know, it sounds very Taoist, like I'm talking in circles. Walking in trust and being certain in the uncertainty usually does.

🏔️ Take the Damn Trip

On Wednesday, one of my best friends, Susan, came in from New York with a friend I'd met with her years ago. I hadn't seen Susan in 12 years. She was my yoga teacher and my very first life coach, and she's a healer too.

They wanted a day of Colorado adventures, so I was guided to take us to Idaho Springs. We did the caves and walked around downtown. The weather couldn't have been better. I got to just be myself, and the three of us helped each other through everything we're each going through.

It was sauve for my soul.

So when your body tells you to take the damn trip, or to make your relationships a priority, listen. When you're the container, you can't see the container. Even as a healer, I need other healers to pull me forward. But I'm the only one who can heal myself, because I decide what I let in and what I let go of.

💃 Why I Made the Dance It Out Cards

This doubt has been see-sawing on me for a month and a half. After my breakthrough rewiring my nervous system, I finally understood why I panic. Part of me believes that if I don't rush, I'll miss the boat. The boat to freedom and opportunity that my mom took to get us here to the United States, escaping Vietnam.

So of course I'm in doubt while I'm doing all these new things. That's exactly why I created these cards. Prioritizing play and creativity gets me out of my head. Somehow that answers something else, opens another door, and gets me moving forward again.

Now you can pull a card with me, for free. Every week, a card lands in your inbox with a message and a dance to help you dance out your doubts.

***If you're in doubt right now, go on to my new Dance It Out page, where you can push a button and get your prescribed dance.

Little confession: when you hit shuffle, it gives you the dance and the message, but not the actual card image. Hello, Mercury retrograde. Fixing it would mean paying my designer for another 2 hours, so I'm testing model 1 first. How many times has the iPhone been upgraded? Same idea. It's never perfect the first time.

You don't fail. You either win or you learn, and you get better each time.

Progress, not perfection.

Whatever you're going through, Reader, know that you are not alone. You are held. You are supported. It feels hard because it is hard, but you're not doing anything wrong.